Although our board rooms and meeting spaces differ in size and style, I’m sure almost every one of them, including yours, contains a pachyderm lurking somewhere near the conversation. Regardless of the topic or the intent, every one in the room is careful not to draw attention to the elephant.

Why is that? Why are we all so careful to avoid the elephant in the room? In a word: fear. We are fearful of appearing foolish or contrarian. We fear being branded as not a team player or someone who rocks the boat. We fear challenging someone else’s pet project. Whatever the issue, we fear the mere mention of the topic will bring misfortune or calamity down on our heads. Or it will create extra work for us. Or, God forbid, should the group follow your advice, it could fail.

And so, we defer and procrastinate. We form focus groups to study the problem. We schedule meetings to plan for the upcoming meeting. We come up with clever ways of changing the subject. And the elephant in the room just grows bigger, hungrier, and more fearsome.

Years ago, I attended military school in Venice, Florida, which also happened at the time to be the winter home of the Barnum & Bailey Circus. I remember watching the elephants tethered to the ground with small chains they could easily have broken. I wondered how they kept those animals, which were as big and weighed as much as a truck, from wandering away. One of the handlers explained that when they are babies, the elephants are staked to the ground with heavy chains. After trying unsuccessfully to free themselves, they never again challenge that subtle pressure around their hind leg. Their fear becomes ingrained and it controls their behavior the rest of their lives.

Want to show those elephants in your meetings the door? First, acknowledge their existence. Second, put the problem into perspective (What’s the worst thing that could happen? Really?). And finally, set about building a plan to resolve the issue. And invite others in the meeting to join in coming up with the solution.

Give it a try and you may find that those mammoth fears are just peanuts.

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