In the late 17^th century, the finest violins in the world were made in the small Italian village of Cremona by three families whose workshops were a stone’s throw from each other. So the story goes, on the front door of the Amati family hung a sign that proclaimed: “The best violins in all Italy.” Nearby, on the front door of the Guarneri family, hung a sign that proclaimed: “The best violins in all the world!”  At the end of the street was the workshop of Antonius Stradivarius, and on his door, he simply stated: “The best violins on the block.”

Once, while working for a college, I had a conversation with my boss about marketing the institution. When I asked her who she thought was our target audience, she replied: “Everybody.” And when I asked what information she thought we should share with them, she replied: “Everything!”

With few exceptions, the days of mass marketing no longer make sense. The strategy now is to research and selectively target your audience. Trying to sell your college or your product to everyone not only wastes valuable resources, but it also dilutes your message to the lowest common denominator. In order to speak to everyone, it resonates with no one.

Want to rise above the competition? What specifically is your message? And who is most likely to be attracted to your offering?

Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch was known for walking the streets of his city and asking passerby: “How am I doing?” I’m sure he was interested in how the governor and others in high positions perceived his leadership. But he also wanted to know how his organization was responding to the needs of all its citizens. And who best to provide that feedback than Joe and Minnie Sixpack?

It is important to know what your superiors think of your job performance. But how would your subordinates rate you? Does your team feel they have your ear? Do you encourage them to recommend ways your organization can operate more effectively?

In the past, I’ve shared with you the wisdom of a good friend, Rick Bommelje, who is a communications professor at Rollins College and also a noted expert on effective listening.

When soliciting constructive feedback from your colleagues, Rick suggests these Do’s and Don’ts:

DO: 

• Ask clearly and be specific. (“I really would appreciate your thoughts about how I’m doing leading the team meetings?”)
• Ask with confidence.
• Receive feedback as a gift that provides you with honest information about your perceived behavior/performance.
• Be open to what you will hear.
• Really listen and let the person finish what they are saying.
• Paraphrase what you are being told, either back to the person or in your own mind.
• Pose clarifying questions and request specific examples, if not provided.
• Ask the person to give you suggestions and recommendations for alternative behaviors.
• Monitor your nonverbal and emotional responses to ensure they demonstrate you are open to the information.
• Thank your colleague for the feedback. They didn’t have to give it to you.
• Evaluate the information and consider specific actions for improvements.
• Follow up with the person to let them know actions you’ve taken.
• Seek feedback on a regular basis. It’s a constant process, not a single event.

DON’T:

• Take the feedback personally.
• Become defensive, make excuses or try to explain your behavior if you hear something you don’t like or agree with.
• Interrupt the other person.
• Be afraid to allow pauses and periods of silence when you receive feedback. This gives you time to understand what is being said and it gives the other person time to think about what they would like to say.
• Ask the person to defend his or her opinion (there is a big difference between “defending” and “explaining”).

Rick adds that highly effective leaders are genuinely interested in knowing how they can improve and grow. “If you ask ‘How am I doing?’ sincerely, people will respond and open up to you.”

There is a quote from Thomas Edison above my desk that says: “There are no rules here. We’re trying to accomplish something.” That quote reminds me daily how easy it is to burden ourselves with policies and procedures that can get in the way of making progress.

Now, I realize it’s important to have rules. Without them, this world would be even more chaotic than it already is. Unfortunately, rules are also an inhibitor. They can prevent us from thinking outside the box, of taking unnecessary risk. They encourage us to follow the safe, traditional path. They discourage us from attempting radically new initiatives with phrases like: “That’s not the way we do it here,” and “We have standards for that.”

In searching for the perfect filament for his incandescent light bulb, Edison was accused of many failures. “I have not failed,” he responded. “I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

A leader in one of the companies I serve gave permission to a room full of managers to occasionally break the rules. His intent was not to create anarchy, but to let those men and women know that stepping outside the lines of conformity is okay once and a while if their insubordination helps, in the long run, to grow the business. 

One last suggestion: as you contemplate coloring outside the lines of your world, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons and with purpose. Keep in mind former president Franklin D. Roosevelt’s observation that: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.”