I learned a valuable lesson about selling while working for Sears during my college days. I noticed that when potential customers would set foot into a department such as sporting goods, clothing, or housewares, a sales clerk would immediately rush up and ask: “May I help you?” The response was almost always the same: “Thanks, but I’m just looking.” An emotional wall would go up between the two and the potential sale would be lost. 

It didn’t take long for me to realize a different approach was needed. When potential customers would enter my department (home entertainment), I would begin the conversation with anything other than what I was selling. “I like that blouse,” I would say, or: “We could sure use some rain, couldn’t we?” My intent was to first build a relationship with the person and then let them signal when they were ready to talk about what I was selling.

What I learned is that while it is important to share information about the products and services we offer, in the end, buying and selling is an emotional transaction. The key commodity that is exchanged is trust, and without it, there will be no sale.

In 2002, Google estimated that each one of us is confronted with up to 3,000 advertising or markeitng messages per day. Our brains have been conditioned to sniff out a pitch, oftentimes even before the first word is uttered.

I observe a lot of sales people today who want to shorten the process. They want to build relationships quickly so they can close the sale. But the cardinal rule is that the customer sets the pace. He or she lets us know when they are ready to buy. Until then, we must continue to deepen the relationship.

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