During the past three decades, I have made my living largely by asking questions. Along the way, I have come to realize that asking the right questions not only provides clarity and greater understanding, but also can help strengthen relationships and lead to effective solutions. It also can help defuse volatile situations. Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years you might want to consider:

The best questions are those with an intended purpose, questions that provide insight and discovery. Try asking open-ended questions, those that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. These type of questions begin with the old journalistic 5 W’s and how. I think you’ll find that what and how questions tend to generate the most useful information. Why questions can also be good for soliciting information, but should be used with care because they also can be intimidating.

To be an effective questioner, you need to be an effective listener. Once you’ve asked the question, wait for the answer, don’t interrupt by trying to answer it yourself. And listen carefully to the answer being given, don’t spend the time trying to formulate in your head the next question you want to ask. And while you are listening to the answer, note the body language. Do the facial movements and posture reinforce what is being said? Also, practice reflective listening. Paraphrase back what you think you heard to make sure you understood the answer correctly.

Taking a Socratic approach to interviewing can lead to interesting discoveries by both parties. But to be effective, you need to leave all of your biases and preconceptions at the door. Keep an open mind and try to understand from the perspective of the person providing the answers. I am continually amazed that I leave interviews with an entirely different story than I anticipated.

Questions will differ based on the desired outcome. Working with others to come up with a solution: “What do you think is the problem?” will require a slightly different approach than trying to resolve a conflict: “How might I have handled that situation more appropriately?” You might find it helpful to spend a little time in advance thinking about your desired outcome and what questions will help you achieve your objectives. And in situations where I’m interviewing someone for an article, I have found it helpful to give the person a few questions in advance to help guide the conversation. My reward is usually more thoughtful and informative answers.

Asking questions is a part of life we all take for granted. It’s as simple as breathing. But spending a little time perfecting your technique will enable you to connect with others more effectively, provide greater understanding, and improve your productivity.

Any questions?

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